Flat Search DAY 1

After making countless phone calls and crossing most items on my flat/room list finally I managed to make two appointments. The first one was in Hoxton, no one told me how horrendous place it was!!!
No offence to any Turk but all the ugly Turks must have chosen this area to settle down! Well... we Caucasians are the best looking minorities in Turkey (as well as the ones from the Balkans) ;)
After asking so many passer-bys and calling the guy two-hundred times I finally found the place. A heavy smell of weed welcomed me in the building! Someone must be smoking very cheap stuff... I hesitated to go through, but no! I have to have an idea about London housing, what they call "a room" to evaluate and appreciate the other places.

- Hi Kubra!, a skinny guy opened the door. I spoke to him in last 2 hours more than I spoke to my dad in last two months!

He was so skinny that his legs were the same size as my arms! My mum must see this guy before calling me "skinny"!
He showed me the room which had the same size as our room in Istanbul that we used to put our ironing board and wrinkled shirts to be ironed. Huge flats are inherited from the Ottoman Empire palace traditions in Istanbul. What a massive difference between life standards in Istanbul and London! Living in the poshest area just by the lovely Bosphorus and now searching for a room in Hoxton!

When he was gazing at my dark pink Estee Lauder lipstick with a mesmerised face, I was counting the grey socks hanged-up to guess how many guys should be living in this rundown place.

- Would you like to have a cup of tea?, he pressed the kettle's button.
- No thanks, I'm in a hurry. I have to see as many flats as possible before December. (which meant I have to run away from you as far as possible! lol!)
- You have loads of time!
- Yeah but I won't be here after next week and a very busy week is coming up.
- Where are you going?
- To Germany.
- Are you German?
- ?!?
He must be quite high to think that I was German.

- No I'm Turkish.
- You don't look Turkish.

I gave him a quick vain look...

If a guy tells you that you don't look Turkish that means he is chatting up with you in the cheapest way possible.

My second stop was in Old Bethnal Green street. Without google map and internet I felt like someone from 1990s! I asked a Brit who was selling not-very-fresh vegetables on the street.

- Ya going to Liverpool street direction or Dalston?
- Ermm... Dalston. ( Not because I knew where I was going but I liked the name Dalston :)
- Where are you goin ixactly luv?
- To Old Bethnal Green Road.

I walked on and on and on... Then I must have ended up in Turkey! Pelin supermarket, Irmak off-licence... And a mosque called "SULEYMANIYE"! Whaaa?! I was definitely in the WRONG place! Or it was a nightmare.

I looked ahead and I saw the PENIS of London city in the horizon (Gherkin building) !
YAY! CIVILISATION!!!
I had never felt happier to see a penis in my life :))

Not long after, the Shoreditch kids wearing the uniform of SHOREDITCH FOOTBALL CLUB have started to mushroom on the road. Skinny jeans, funky hair cuts, trainers, tartan slim fit shirts... It's like a uniform isn't it?I can wear the same uniform to fit in, can't I?

Eventually I gave up seeing the second flat and stopped my fight against technology and ended up in a mobile shop to get a Blackberry.

Lessons to learn:
- you can't fight against technology!
- asking address trend is over!
- if you dump your bf who adores you and knows London very well, you have to deal with everything on your own!
- Day 1 of flat searching can fail.

My hilarious job interview

At 08:10 miss London correspondent, miss financial princess is in central London searching for a bloody address, market place number 13. Where the hell is this market place? Is it like a market place really? Like Broadway market, local food, amateur singers on the street? Not very West London type though...

Who told me to sell my lovely iphone? I miss you my iphone... I miss lots of things lately... I miss him, and him and him and the other one, and the one before that one... All the good things in my life have left me behind and gone with the wind... The wind of change, my favourite one. (by Scorpions)

Market place number 13. Mmmmmmmarket place numberrrr... All the annoying things in this world begin with M. Don't they? M's usually become annoying if you repeat them too often.
Hey I heard a whistle!... From "the wind of change" playing inside me? Not really. This one was from the cleaner man behind me. The thing is when I get lost, there is always an African origin cleaner is up there to help me. A girl with widened Mediterranean eyes with plenty of question marks in it. How bad to be that transparent in the eyes, they always know how much I hate people, or how much I love them or care for them just by looking into my eyes...

- Good morning Kuu--(silence)Qbra! (Yes bitch it is my name, cooler than yours :)
- We have another task for you today, you have 40mins please help yourself with the laptop and word processor and email it back. Good luck!

Another idiotic member of this place is landing NYC in 40 minutes, he needs a good restaurant for Friday evening, equivalent to Scott's, Ciprioni and Hakkasa in London. Scott's? He has money but no soul then!?

After 40 boring minutes and HR interview which I had 1,000 of them in Istanbul when I was only 22 and eventually time for the actual presentation that I prepared the night before with sleepy eyes...

The manager lady: All right Kubra, would you like to start from Rome mission?
Me : Errm.. Yes. (Sipped my English tea with milk to wet my lips)

The story is : There is a member who wants to take his girlfriend to Rome for a romantic weekend and he is planing to propose her. He is asking for suggestion where and how to propose, what restaurants to take her etc. BEST PERSON TO ASK ABOUT ROMANCE LOL!

After acting 10 minutes (acting is my job), drawing philosophical conclusions about romance, Rome and love and importance of customer services bloody blah blah... I noticed that I was driving myself crazy with my acting. And finally Q&A:

The manager lady: What if he loses the bag that he put the ring in it in the airport?
Me: The ring, you mean the engagement ring?
The manager lady mumbles: Errm.. yes.
Me: He has to buy a new one!
The bloody manager: How would you help him? How is he going to distract the girlfriend?

I lost my temper here.

Me: Well it is his problem, isn't it?

The manager lady: !?!

What a loser, isn't he?
He doesn't know how to treat his girlfriend, asking for suggestions to propose her, he is ACTUALLY paying for this service! Get an iphone man! And moreover he is bloody losing the engagement ring and calling me to help him!

Is he going to ask for help in bed too!?!