When you get pregnant others around you give birth

Biggest paradox of modern age for women is whether to be a full time mother or a professional. In theory it seems like you can`t be both but in practice modern times requires you to be both. However here indicates even a bigger paradox: Modern age requires women to have both career and a baby it also makes every move to stop you to achieve this! you wonder how? Read this then...
This article will thoroughly not list the hard work of working mothers or legal obstacles of going back to work after maternity leave etc. This is all about the psychological war you will face against you as a pregnant woman.

Once you get pregnant others around you give birth! This is the moment they can disclose their competitive ideas against you, time to give birth after 9 months of development of them inside their sick brains. Except for close sincere friends most people would want you to be miserable. Because misery loves company. (Check this article for the term: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/misery-loves-company)
People think that pregnancy gives women a weakness both physically and emotionally. A pregnant woman is a mother-to-be and she is in the brink of ending her career. By the help of her colleagues she will make this metamorphic decision easier. They actually help you to bring up healthier generations(!) It`s just the pregnant woman taking this negatively and personally.

First step in this psychological bitchy war begins with rhetoric questions which aim to remind you how big the mess is you are facing in few months time like :

"Oh darling you will be a mother soon. What a huge responsibility!" (Oh thank you I didn`t know this before)

"Sweetheart do you know who will look after the baby when you`re back to work? Kids brought up by grandmothers become very spoilt. Kindergartens twist kid`s psychology you know..."

(Oh you`re right I never thought of this since I`m an idiot otherwise I wouldn`t have a baby, would I? Let me leave my job and be a good mother so that you can get rid of me on your shitty career path!)
And this follows some physical-related statements like:

"I can see your belly" (Ohh good that you are not short-sighted then!?)

"You must be very tired. You look very tired" (Actually I`m less tired than your sick brain and I`m full boosted by oestrogen!)
If you didn`t put on much weight then they start to blame you not eating enough. It`s not worrying about your health it is actually their envy to your Barbie look did not go away yet and this gets on people`s nerves.

These are few examples of dialogues which are a bit caricaturized to put you off from life as a working-mother-to-be.
I have some advice for preggy ladies: Pregnancy is not a disorder. It`s a natural state of mind and body and part of our being as a woman! Do not believe in women who say they don`t want to be a mother. They are either infertile or they haven`t found the right father for their kids yet. It`s their defence mechanism makes them to speak like this.

Working full time for a mother is the part of humans social evolution in the 21st century. So the ones who can achieve both who are clever enough to take advantage of the conditions to achieve this they will prove world that nothing can be more powerful than a mother!

Viva JOURNALISM Viva PRESS FREEDOM!

10 seconds... 9 - 8 - 7 heart beating...and you hear the uplifting jingle of the show in your ear! ON AIR! Heart stops, adrenaline levels` graph looks like Euro/Dollar parity as the European Central Bank`s governor speaks. The show flows like a river to the end of the tunnel. You have to grasp and visualise and reflect the news on your face, voice, posture and at your screen presence. You have to look as if you are a guru even though you just got the news, data, information etc. No matter how experienced you are there are always obstacles that you can only tackle with your own general knowledge and common sense. Common sense! That`s the magic word in TV journalism. Either you work off air or you act in front of camera you need to have a sharp attention, confidence and common sense. During my short journey in tv journalism (or maybe long enough to write this as I was interviewing guests at home when I was only 5 year old!), I met so many people who had to be sent to room 101!!!

** I met presenters who pronounced the same name in 5 different forms in 2 hours time. ** I met presenters who turn up for mic-up 1 minute before the live show! ** I met presenters who pronounced French finance minister`s name as Moscowsky and made him sound like a Russian oligarch instead... (by the way his name is Pierre Moscovici) ** I met presenters who heard the name Massachusetts for the first time in their lives. ** I met presenters who don`t know who Adele is. ** I met presenters who ask director what to ask during a live interview with a scientists after the strongest Japan earth quake in history! ** I met presenters who are unaware of what`s happening in the world because it is Monday morning! ** I met reporters who can`t speak or write in their mother tongue. ** I met reporters who can`t ask questions or who are proud of themselves because they were able to ask questions(!) ** I met media managers who have no idea what news is, what an editor, producer, director and reporter does... ** I met journalists who ask what to ask before an interview. ** I met managers who think media should be the voice of the party in power and should be integrated to the state! ** I met chief editors who think editorial meetings are scrutinised by the government... I met producers who don`t want to update the bulletins because they feel too lazy! Yes I met all those people and I`m still proud not to be one of them and still feel proud to be a journalist! ****************************************************************************************************************************************************** Viva JOURNALISM viva PRESS FREEDOM! ******************************************************************************************

to CV or not to CV

Age: 29
Sex: Female
Marital Status: Just wed
Mental Status: Broken down
Occupation: Full-time job hunter
Life philosophy: to CV or not to CV

Here is the guide for the ones who do the most primitive job in our kind's history: hunting!

Rule number 1 - Get up early to compete with your rivals who sleep in the mornings.

Rule number 2- Be updated. Become an update freak! check out European, American, Middle Eastern and domestic news. Read columns, blogs, angry discussions, watch news, commercials, socialize in social media, asocial media, anti-social media, alternative media and even in schizophrenic media (when the walls start to talk to you:).

Rule number 3- Be in good shape. Try not to stay in pyjamas all day, stop wearing glasses and hat to hide your un-made up eyes or undone hair please!

Rule number 4-Think of your every single friend, relative, colleague related to the industry you want to work in. Think of people who asked your help, who asked favours to you countless times, who you've been extremely polite with expecting nothing in return and see how many bastards you know in this world.

Rule number 5- Never give out your CV to someone who promise you to give it to his/her managers, never! Always ask manager's mail addresses and send it by yourself. The point? you will get the interview right away because you have a fucking good CV on which your "contact" wouldn't pass by his/her own hands.

Rule number 6- Always start from the rival companies to the company you worked before. It will make you feel good.

Rule number 7- Go to Starbucks in the middle of the day, do not wear a watch, some days sleep until 11am, have a long long bath and think of the time famine you just came out of!

Rule number 8- Stop reading about the symptoms of depression. You are just the Cindirella who is left behind by her ugly sisters at home. (NOT!)

Rule number 9- Stop reading about bipolar disorder either. You are just in a transitional phase, you are evolving to a next step in humanity: from hunting&gathering society to consumer society!!!

Rule number 10- Make some jobless friends. Misery loves company. And enjoy your phase!

Wedding Chronicles

"When is your big day?" is the most common question when you decide to get hitched. Big day is really a big day!

The whole organisation is full of clichés. I'm not talking about clichés like the fake cake that you pretend like slicing and offering to your just wed spouse or critisizing eyes that wander around your dress, hair and make-up, curious elderly people who check out the amount of golden gifts you receive etc.

In fact, invitations are the biggest hassle. How many people you will invite? How are you going to classify them? Who is going to sit with whom?

Take a look at the categories:

- Political invites: people who you are supposed to invite even though they won't come
- Mandatory invites: your relatives and some colleagues

- Real invites: People who will make your day and who made your life so far.

No matter how precisely you plan everything you will have two surprises: some people that you think 100% would come won't turn up and some will turn up unexpectedly. When you handle the invitation if the person avoids eye contact and moan this is the first signal that they will improve this excuse-like situation later on.

I should mention the last two day's typical excuses too. Last two days are critical. Prior to the big day rock and roll starts. You will receive theatrical phone calls and messages.

All of a sudden they will have to look after their kids and nanny will be off, married ones will blame the husbands or wives, most popular excuse is sudden back pain or diarhea. Funerals are life-saving too. It will either be anniversary of a death or first month etc. What is awkward is people wait until the last moment to realise that it is the anniversay of a death JUST on your big day. Blimey! Some will be travelling and they just miss your wedding. Oh poor travellers. Bless them.

Apparently no one can dare to say that they just don't feel like coming, they don't want to spend money on a new dress, or a gift, they always fancied you or your spouse to be, they don't like weddings or whatever the real reason is.

Big day is a big day that flies. How about your house? The house that people keep promising to visit one day. There are many clichés in the house as well.

You won't understand women's kitchen stuff fetishism. It's even more dangerous than shoe-holics and shopaholics! You will end up with 5 sets of cups, countless mugs, zillions of forks, spoons and plates, trays, glasses, pans, bits and pieces that you don't even know what to use for?!

How about the style? It's hard to disagree with Allison Pearson:

"Is it coincidence that we spend far more than our parents ever did on the restyling and improvement of our homes - homes in which we spend less and less time because we are out earning the money to pay for Italian kitchen and stripped oak floors? It's as though home had become some kind of stage set for a play in which we one day hope to star."

Two cities Thousand Differences

How can I compare and contrast Istanbul and London? One is British capital of immigrants from a multi-cultural approach and the other is an old Roman city and new cultural capital of Turks.

Istanbul is the city that I grew up, I have been a student for the first time, I fell in love and instantly I regretted, I made big mistakes as anyone did and I forgave myself, I worked and earned my money, saved and spent, travelled from and so.

London is the city where I was reborn, reincarnated, rediscovered my limits, and extended my knowledge, wisdom, experience and built up by personality further.

London is the city of "hope" where Istanbul is "hopelessness". People come to London to find better life conditions, jobs, better education or simply to find themselves. Whereas people come to Istanbul know that there is nothing they can find rather than this beautiful city itself and its unique view of Bosphorus.

Both cities have a theme on water: London's rain and Istanbul's humidity. Both cities are divided by water; London by brown river Thames and Istanbul by crystal clean sea water. Both cities have bridges: London Bridge and Tower bridge vs Istanbul Bosphorus Bridge and Fatih Bridge. Additionally, Istanbul is a virtual bridge between the West and the East, Europe and Asia, conservatism and liberalism. Whereas London is a melting pot, an orchestra of different cultures without any harmony and order in.

London has a good transport network under and overground, light and heavy railways, different variations and so. Istanbul has the most uncomplicated transport network ever -few lines only, also an overground bus lane which is treated as a subway called metrobus!? Both cities' transport system are bullshit when you need them anyways.

Istanbul cabs are yellow, driven by crazy drivers and London cabs are black and their chauffeurs are big-headed snobs.

In Istanbul when you dine out no matter how cheap the restaurant is you feel like you are served and welcomed but in London no matter how expensive the restaurant is you feel very cheap and unimportant.

In Istanbul people do not use many things in daily life: seat belt, traffic lights, fire extinguisher, bins, recycle bins, pavements, sorry, thank you, excuse me...

In London people either do not use or abuse some things in daily life: soap and water, alcohol, sex, toilet paper, napkin, tissue, sorry, thank you, excuse me...

In Istanbul it seems like women do not know how to open their car doors, how to park, how to carry a bag, how to tip, how to pay something if there happens to be a man around. In London women can do everything with or without men around!

In London if you have an appointment at 10.30am you turn up on time or earlier if late you give an excuse and say sorry but in Istanbul you may turn up some time before noon, no need to give an excuse if you do you just say "Istanbul traffic" and that's it. If you turn up on time you are called either an obsessed person or a punctual one!

In London when you send an email you usually receive a reply to confirm that your request is being handled and somehow you'll be got back to but in Istanbul you never receive a confirmation then you call them and the reaction is "offcourse we got your email and we're working on it" Wow really!?

In Istanbul Starbucks we all have our identity: they write your name on the coffee cups but in London you are just a call: "regular latte machiato!"

In Istanbul you don't feel comfortable when you spend all day out alone but London is the city of loneliness. You go to park, you eat, shop alone, live alone happily ever after. Lonely London... Sigh...

Classless or Classy Society? Postcode phenomena of London

Once upon a time there was such a dream called "classless society" where all people are truly equal. It never entirely came true because of many reasons.

Here I am not to give a boring lecture on sociology. But shortly, classifying makes controlling easier. You classify dishes, clothes, regions, areas, streets, military forces, academics, businesses and science. It is easier to set rules, policies, opportunities when you classify a society. And classlessNess prevents to create a classy society. Like in London.

London's classes are coded via post. This is a cliché that postcodes label people immediately. 4 letters 9 numbers draw a picture of your life. Have a look:

SE 16 - South East: You have an entry level job and poor digit salary. You prefer using bus pass. Your neighbours are some black families with cute kids.

SW 4 - South West: You like edgy night life and you've got more gay friends than straights. You've just been to a music festival last month. You live in London for over 5 years now. Still you get 2-digit salary.

E8 - East: Rundown buildings cost a fortune in the name of being "trendy". There is a high turn over in your neighbouring flat. They advertise their shared flat like this: "we are looking for a young professional. We like our privacy but we also enjoy a glass of red wine after a working day in the living room"

N4 - North: You feel quite uncomfortable after a late night out on the way home. You can hear 10 different languages on the streets. Hmmm.. nice kebab shops around. You know what? You are either an immigrant or an immigrant!

W8 - West: Well...if you happen to live there you wouldn't read this blog! you enjoy dancing in the same clubs as Prince Harry. so neexxt!

W5 - West: You have a decent job. You save money, go holidays 3 times a year. You take the tube on weekdays and drive outside London on weekends. You enjoy a bit quieter life. You're still single though.

NW3 - You have either a family that one of your kid is taking a gap year this year or have a degree and luck and been living in London for over 10 years now. 3-digit salary but no one knows how many asses you licked though.

A guide on how to spot a rogue!

10 ways to spot a wrong 'un



1. Has three mobile phones. The one supplied by work is silent. The other two ring constantly.

2. Takes a genuine interest in compliance seminars.

3. Once devised an accounting software programme.

4. Drinks with the IT department.

5. Buys a flat in the City- "to be near work".

6. Has developed unusual friendships with back-office people in Switzerland, with whom he goes on cycling holidays.

7. Is a bit too helpful. Always happy to take care of manual inputting jobs.

8. Is NEVER off sick.

9. Has geeky male friends and (solely) very attractive female ones.

10. Has a wing-mirror on his monitor(seriously people have these).



source: Evening Standard, Simon English column