2 Şubat 2012 Perşembe

to CV or not to CV

Age: 29
Sex: Female
Marital Status: Just wed
Mental Status: Broken down
Occupation: Full-time job hunter
Life philosophy: to CV or not to CV

Here is the guide for the ones who do the most primitive job in our kind's history: hunting!

Rule number 1 - Get up early to compete with your rivals who sleep in the mornings.

Rule number 2- Be updated. Become an update freak! check out European, American, Middle Eastern and domestic news. Read columns, blogs, angry discussions, watch news, commercials, socialize in social media, asocial media, anti-social media, alternative media and even in schizophrenic media (when the walls start to talk to you:).

Rule number 3- Be in good shape. Try not to stay in pyjamas all day, stop wearing glasses and hat to hide your un-made up eyes or undone hair please!

Rule number 4-Think of your every single friend, relative, colleague related to the industry you want to work in. Think of people who asked your help, who asked favours to you countless times, who you've been extremely polite with expecting nothing in return and see how many bastards you know in this world.

Rule number 5- Never give out your CV to someone who promise you to give it to his/her managers, never! Always ask manager's mail addresses and send it by yourself. The point? you will get the interview right away because you have a fucking good CV on which your "contact" wouldn't pass by his/her own hands.

Rule number 6- Always start from the rival companies to the company you worked before. It will make you feel good.

Rule number 7- Go to Starbucks in the middle of the day, do not wear a watch, some days sleep until 11am, have a long long bath and think of the time famine you just came out of!

Rule number 8- Stop reading about the symptoms of depression. You are just the Cindirella who is left behind by her ugly sisters at home. (NOT!)

Rule number 9- Stop reading about bipolar disorder either. You are just in a transitional phase, you are evolving to a next step in humanity: from hunting&gathering society to consumer society!!!

Rule number 10- Make some jobless friends. Misery loves company. And enjoy your phase!

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