Enigma

I wish we could speak the richest language in this world so that I could tell you how much you mean to me... Now I have to put wings to the words to fly them higher or deeper than they actually can ever do.

No no... this is NOT another boring love letter that any boring shallow girl can write to a loved one. This is just a rain drop to wet my lips before I start to move my mouth to talk about you... You... My magnificent self. The reflection of me and my dreams. You... Tu... Sen...

You are my missing years... my teen energy... my wasted dreams, thrown away, cast away, far away...

Your enigmatic smile invaded my eyes with a victory gained unintentionally. You conquered my existence, got a life inside me, blossomed like a little primrose. You were dead before I discovered your distant self. Remember you did not have a heart to live, lungs to inhale, any tears to cry...

I don't love you at all! In the first place I made you alive, I created your self in the castles of my imagination. I lighted the candles in your jewish-asian eyes to give me pain in the most masochist way. Yes I created you to give me pain... Ignore me to the fullest with all your neglected heart!.. Please do it more. This is what I need: pain of you.

I will keep on desiring you with passion, love and hate as I did for hundred years. Because your hate is like a poison ivy feeding my love to death. My love is reborn every time you look at me pointlessly, unexpectedly, unpredictably... No wonder you enjoy so much mesmerising me and looking at my puzzled face for a while. I am puzzled with looking at my reflection on the lake! I see myself not you. My pearl... my beauty spot... good bye...